


Tony Stark, Served Well Done

by a_salty_alto



Series: STONY Fairytale Bingo [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Original Character(s), POV First Person, POV Multiple, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-16 10:42:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13634649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_salty_alto/pseuds/a_salty_alto
Summary: I always knew this is how I was going to die.Now you might be thinkingOh, Tony, you’re being hyperbolic, “eaten by a witch” is a weirdly specific way to go, there’s no way you could have expected it.Yeah well, I’m not.





	1. Tony

**Author's Note:**

> This is for the "Hansel and Gretel" fill on my fairytale bingo card!

I always knew this is how I was going to die.

Now you might be thinking  _ Oh, Tony, you’re being hyperbolic, “eaten by a witch” is a weirdly specific way to go, there’s no way you could have expected it. _

Yeah well, I’m not. 

Ever since I stepped foot in this school I’ve known something like this was going to happen.

Okay, let me backup.

Hi, my name’s Tony Stark, soon to be dinner. 

I’m a junior at Shield Highschool. Now, most people in town who don’t go here think that we’re just a bunch of stuck up genius snobs who get away with whatever we want. 

That’s not true. 

Well, the genius part is true, obviously, I go here. And so does Bruce, and Sam, and Natasha’s scarily good with computers and of course Jan and Bobbi- and I’m getting off topic.

Anyway we’re all  _ actually _ a group of barely-functioning hot messes. If it isn’t exams, it’s school clubs, homework, the fact that none of us get enough sleep because we have to get up ass-early in the morning to get here on time, everyone’s got something to worry about here. We don’t have time to be stuck-up.

My current worry is the large boiling vat I’m dangling over.

Right, right, moving on. So, as Principal Coulson will tell you, if you’re in the mood for ten minutes of him waxing poetic about what the school,  Shield High was built on top of a potter’s field, which is a mass grave for unmarked bodies. 

So yeah, school’s literally built on top of a pile of dead bodies of spirits that are probably pissed they never got a proper burial. 

The first time I heard that little tidbit, my immediate thought was “some idiot is going to bring a Ouija board here and get us all killed.” It was joke, but I still called it.

So, it was after school, and I was hanging out with the D&D club that my friends and I formed with the help of the BEST PHYSICS TEACHER EVER, Mr. Yinsen, when suddenly the lights went out, a draft picked up through the school an an unearthly screech ripped through the building. 

It was pitch black, so, naturally, we pulled out our phones to have some sort of light. 

Natasha put her phone to her ear.

It couldn’t have rang more than once before she took it away again and shook her head.

“I don’t have any signal.”

At that, everyone else immediately started checking their phones too.

“No wifi,” Jan announced.

“Landline isn’t working either” Mr. Yinsen sighed

“This can only mean good things.” Clint muttered.

“Why don’t we take a look around?” Steve said, because he’s a giant innocent puppy dog who’s probably never actually seen a horror movie. 

“Are you crazy?” Sam practically screeched. “No.”

“Rogers, what are you a, dumbass? This whole scenario screams demon attack.” Rhodey added..

“C’mon don’t we at least want to be in a room with actual, you know, windows? It’s only 3:30 in the afternoon, even if it’s cloudy, it’ll be more light than in here.” Brucie Bear suggested. It seemed like a good point. Mr. Yinsen’s room doesn’t have any windows, which makes the room darker. Even if we did walk into a monster movie, a you’d think a better lit room would  _ have  _ to help right?

WRONG! Oh so wrong, because as it turned out the sky had become, as Clint so eloquently put it, “a fucking bloodbath of hatred and death.” 

Instead of the soft gray clouds and light snowfall that would be expected this time of year, the clouds were a hard black, and the sky was a deep crimson occasionally split in two by the crack of thunder and a lightning strike.

Like any sane person, we immediately tried to nope the fuck outta there, but the windows weren’t opening up and it took us exactly 5 minutes to realize we were very lost. In the school most of us have been attending for a little over 2 years at this point.

“Well, fuck.” I announced, because really, what else was there to say? I’m not sure if anyone else had noticed it, but the speakers which usually pumped terrible jazz music through the halls instead were playing a heaving breathing sound. I didn’t really feel like pointing it out to anyone at that moment, though. 

“So. What do we do?” Clint panted. 

Steve immediately took charge. I don’t remember what he said exactly, I may have been too busy staring at him as he got that stubborn look in his eyes and went into full protective mode and his eyebrows scrunched up just so and UuuuuggGgGHHhhhhhh.

Okay, so I might have a slight crush on Steve. You don’t get to make fun of it, I’m about to be boiled.

Anyway so, I wasn’t exactly paying attention but I got paired up with Natasha. I have this habit of aggressively hoarding snacks in my backpack, so I gave some to each of the pairs. In theory we’d each head in a different direction and follow the food trails back to where we started. 

As Natasha and I made our way up the stairs and somehow ended up in the basement, we heard moaning. Immediately we shared a look and then ran after the voice. Who did we find but none other than Justin Hammer.

Now, Justin is a prick, but even he didn’t deserve the sorry state we’d found him in. He was pale, clutching his arm, and he had a black eye.

“Stark. Romanoff,” he grunted, as if the words hurt to say.

“Yeah, it’s us.” I helped him up and slung his arm over my shoulder.

“Justin, do you know what’s going on here?” Natasha asked taking his other arm. We shared a silent look and agreed that we should take him back to the meeting point.

“I was playing Ouija.” he said.

A few hours ago neither of us would have believed we were having this conversation, but now, the evidence was kind of hard to refute.

“Aren’t you not supposed to do that alone?” I said. “Or in a place where people are buried?

“Justin, what kind of  spirit did you summon?” Natasha asked at the same time. 

Yeah, Nat was probably asking better questions than I was. I decided to leave the interrogation to her.

“A witch,” Justin whispered.

“And what does she want?” 

“Him.” Justin said shifting his head in my direction.

“Wait, I’m sorry, what?” I yelped. 

“When I summoned her, she wanted to eat my soul, but I knew you’d be here with your nerd club, and she said she wouldn’t eat me if I got you for her.”

“Shit.” Natasha said,  and we dropped Justin like a sack of potatoes.

It was too late though. High cackling laughter erupted from around us. Suddenly, an invisible force knocked me into a wall, and everything went dark.

*

When i came too again, i found myself in my current predicament, tied up and dangling upside-down over a vat.

“More sage.” A voice from the shadows called out, and a very grumpy Natasha was pushed in the direction of the pot.

“Hey! Leave her alone!” i yelled. I like to think I was somewhat intimidating.

The witch just laughed though, and practically glided over to me. I don’t know what she looks like other than she wears a dark robe with the hood covering her face.

“Ah, Iron Man, I’m glad to see you’re awake.”  She said, placing a bony hand to my cheek. “This is such a lovely little universe that buffoon called me to. You Avengers all have the same delicious spirit, but none of the pesky toys or skills.” 

“I’m sorry, it might be the blood rushing to my head, but that doesn’t make any sense.” I bit back. Avengers? What was she going on about? “And if you just want to eat my soul, why do you need the pots and spices.”

The witch laughed again. “Oh, I want you to suffer. You’ve all wronged me, but you, Tony Stark sealed me away, so you get to feel being cooked alive. Your friends’ punishment is getting to watch.” 

With that, she glided back to her corner, silently watching the two of us.

“So, Nat. Don’t suppose you can convince her I’m not fat enough to eat?


	2. Steve

This isn’t good. I’m back at the meeting place, and Rhodey, Jan, Clint, Bruce, Sam and Mr. Yinsen have all made it back, but Tony and Natasha are nowhere to be found. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t an artist, because I can picture very clearly what it might be like to find the two of them ripped apart by whatever was causing this.

The school has seemingly become its own dimension. The hallways send you to completely different floors, the walls randomly become soft like flesh, and strange voices everywhere. Creepy didn’t even begin to describe it. 

Not only that, the school was empty aside from the eight D&D club members and Mr. Yinsen. No other teachers, students from other clubs, or any janitors or security guards could be found.

I’m completely out of my depth when it comes to occult stuff like this. I wish Thor wasn’t out of town for family business, he’d know what to do. His brother practically lives and breathes this kind of stuff.

“How long has it been?” I ask absently while pacing the hall.

“30 seconds since you last asked, so about 5 minutes since we our agreed rendezvous time.” Bruce says. Oops. I stop and realize the others are watching me. I’m probably worrying them.

“Ok, let’s just go look for them. They  _ did _ leave a trail.” Sam points out. “Either we’ll find them at the end or bump into them as they head back.” 

Right. That sounds smart, why didn’t I think of that.

“Okay,” I say, “but let’s stick together, I don’t want to lose anyone else.”

With that, everyone in the group nods and we head off after Nat and Tony’s trail. We travel in relative silence, everyone’s concern is palpable. 

We eventually make it to the end of the trail in the basement, where our missing friends are nowhere to be found.

“Shit.” Rhodey curses. I feel like punching a wall, but I swallow my frustrations.

“Let’s keep going. See if we can find any sign of them.” I say. It sounds like something the leader would say, which I guess I am.

We scour the basement looking for any signs of our friends, but find nothing. At least until Clint literally trips over Justin Hammer.

The guy’s unconscious, and pale in a way that doesn’t look healthy.

Immediately, Mr. Yinsen kneels down next to him and checks him over.

“He’s breathing, but it’s shallow. He needs medical attention.” The teacher’s gaze is stern. “James, Janet, and I found the Nurse’s office while we were searching. I’ll take him there.”

“I can go with you” Bruce offers, but Mr. Yinsen holds up a hand. “No, I want you all to stay together. Find the others, then meet us back at the rendezvous point in a hour.”

“Right,” Steve nods. As we watch their teacher take off with Justin in his arms, I can’t help feeling worried. 

And by that I mean I’m screaming internally.

Right. Stay calm Steve. You’re in charge. You gotta at least hide your worry.

I stick up my head, and move onward.

Eventually, we find ourselves in the boiler room, and we hear voices. I motion to the others to be quiet as we sneak through. The voices stop as we enter a room, and see Nat, with her leg chained to the wall and Tony...

Tony’s being strung upside down over a large pot.

Ok. Weird, but could be worse.

"Ah, it seems the rest have arrived." A chilling  voice says from somewhere in the room. Clint and Sam scream and grab hold of eachother, but I stand my ground

"Who are you,” I definitely don’t stammer, “what are you doing to Tony and Nat?"

I actually manage to not screech when the terrifying lady appears right behind me and puts a bony hand on my shoulder. Yay me, I’m so proud of myself.

"I only wish for you all to suffer, and for  _ his _ to be especially painful, and delicious." she whispers, and suddenly Tony screams as he starts dropping closer and closer to the pot. 

With instincts I didn't even know I have, I grab the circular lid from a nearby garbage can and throw it. 

It whizzes past Tony's head, bounces off of the wall, then another, and finally hits the lady in the face, knocking her down, and stopping Tony's descent.

I guess I meant to do that.

"Um right. Okay. She needs to be focused to do her magic. Clint, you and Jan help Nat, everybody else keep the lady busy. I’m going to get Tony down.” The others all nod and get back to work.

Rushing over to the pot, the first thing I do is try to tip it over. 

“Steve.” Tony says.

It's really heavy, but Tony’s counting on me.

“Steve.”

I can’t let him down.

“Steve! It’s still on fire doesn’t that hurt?” 

I look down and realize that there’s a fire lit under the cauldron and yeah, it is really hot. 

But not as hot as it probably should be. Still, I jerk away. 

I look at my hands and yeah, they're a little burnt but not something I can’t deal with. They’re already healing in a few places anyway.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, try snuffing out the fire first.” Tony says, misinterpretting my shock. Suddenly the rope drops some more and Tony screams again.  

That weird muscle spasm that let me throw the garbage can lid causes me to jump into the air, do a flip, and catch the rope dropping Tony.

I land balanced on the cauldron, and pull Tony into my arms. 

“Impressive Cap, when did you start taking acrobatics?”

“I don’t know and- Cap?” Tony’s never called me that before and Tony looks just as confused as I do.

“Uh, just ignore me. I’m not sure how long I was upside down. Probably just woozy from all the blood rushing to my head. Anyway,” and Tony looks up at me and gives a little smile, “Thanks for the save.”

I can feel my face turning beet red. I try to tug on the rope that’s holding Tony, but it doesn’t budge. Looks like I’ll just have to carry Tony while the others deal with the witch.

It’s fine. This is fine. 

I can just feel my face turning beet red.

Damn it massive crush on Tony, I thought we had an agreement where you wouldn’t do this to me anymore.

I try to focus on the others fighting the witch. 

Looks like Clint and Jan have gotten Nat out, and they’ve all joined in the fight.

The Avengers are all on the defensive though. We don’t have anything that will actually hurt her, and most of us can’t survive more than one direct lightning blast. I mean none of us can, we’re all humans, what am I talking about?

“Yo, Wicked Witch!” Tony shouts. Oh god Tony please don’t antagonize the angry magic lady when we’re standing over a boiling pot of water.

Still, the witch turns to us and growls.

“You!”

“Yeah, guess you didn’t get me after all. Can’t even beat me when I don’t have my toys?” He mocks.

The witch howls and lunges towards us. Somehow I know the exact moment I need to jump to make sure she smacks face first into her own cauldron.

Her screams as she boils are going to haunt my nightmares for the rest of my life. 

She finally stops, and a blinding flash of light envelops all of us. A split second later, Tony’s untied, the cauldron’s gone, and Tony is suddenly really heavy.

I put him down on the ground as the others come over to us, clearly very confused.

“So, what just happened?” Clint asks, “I mean I’ve always been awesome but I don’t think I’m usually able to dodge lightning for that long.”

“It’s almost like we were actually that thing she was talking about? The Avengers?” Tony asks, turning to Nat, who gives a nod.

“Yeah. The reason the witch wanted to eat Tony was because another version of him sealed her away with alternate versions of us. Apparently in another life, we’re superheroes.” She explains.

Superheroes, huh?

“So we accidently absorbed our other selves’ superhero skills? Is that even possible?” Rhodey asks, and Sam just shrugs.

“We just fought a witch, and didn’t die. I think it’s definitely something more than just dumb luck.”

“Cooooooool. We have to try that again some time!” Jan squeals. “I want to design all our outfits.”

Everyone laughs and starts to leave, but Tony hangs back.

“Something wrong, Tony?” I ask.

“Um yeah, I just wanted to give you something better. To thank you properly.”

“What-” And suddenly I’m cut off by Tony giving me a kiss on the cheek and running off after the others.

So today, I got transported to a weird alternate dimension, my friend/crush nearly got boiled alive, I got proxy superpowers, and my crush just kissed me. 

Weird day. 

Not a bad one though, so I start chasing after Tony.


End file.
